Deadpool was a lot of fun; Deadpool could also use some work. Not exactly a surprising diagnoses, but my hope is that the movie gets a sequel. That way the next one can be better! And this is my wishlist, so to speak, for the second film—which appears to be in development already…
…other than MORE CANADA JOKES, of course.
(Spoilers for the Deadpool film.)
1. Vanessa Becomes Copycat
In the Deadpool comics, Wade’s girlfriend Vanessa Carlysle eventually becomes a superhero named Copycat, who has genetic metamorphosing capabilities—essentially, she can shape shift into anyone, copying them all the way down to a genetic level, allowing her to gain any powers or abilities they might have. That probably sounds boring to plenty of people since we already have Mystique, who has a similar set of skills (and Rogue, who absorbs people’s powers). But the thing is, the other X-Men films are all dramatic exercises, making any commentary that can be derived from a shape-shifting mutant a serious thing by necessity. And that’s too bad because SHAPE-SHIFTING CAN BE HILARIOUS. Or has the ability to be, anyway. Can you imagine another Deadpool film where one of the subplots is Vanessa realizing she can transform into other people? How much fun she would have with that? How much fun Wade would have with that?
It’s a terrible idea. It’s a wonderful idea. It’s way more fun than the brief Rebecca Romijn cameo we got in First Class. And then Vanessa can have some super adventures too (and maybe not get kidnapped in the next movie because kidnapping ladies is a boring trope).
2. Blind Al’s Mission: Impossible Style Adventures
Blind Al’s relationship with Wade Wilson in the comics is… it’s messed up, and he often treats her horrifically, however much they might care for each other. Leslie Uggam’s depiction of the character on film was afforded much better treatment, which was a relief. But I wanted more of her, and she seems like the perfect addition to any team of super-ish buddies that Deadpool might take on a mission. She could run point for anything. She could sit in a cafe behind a newspaper and give Deadpool info on the weird conversation happening two tables over. She could do all the real detecting in a mystery plot—like Miss Marple for superheroes. She could suddenly reveal her latent combat skills in a firefight. (Did you know that there was a dropped plot that was going to reveal Blind Al as one of the original Black Widows? Now you do.)
Why would you not do this. And then have her develop a long-lasting friendship with Negasonic Teenage Warhead because that would create the foundation of one of the greatest sitcoms in history.
3. Let Deadpool Be Pansexual (For Real)
So, Deadpool is pansexual in the comics. Sort of. See, Wade Wilson has been identified as basically any and every sexuality on the spectrum—meaning that he vacillates from moment to moment—according to one of his creators. (He basically said that it was due to Wade’s cell regeneration disorder? So that’s super awkward.) In interviews with Ryan Reynolds and director Tim Miller, they assured fans that the character would be portrayed as pansexual in the film (Reynolds thinks he should have a boyfriend!), since that’s basically been the current stance on the character’s sexuality in the comics. Except… that didn’t really happen? He makes a few flirty comments toward men, one in particular that reads equally as a come on and a gay-panic joke. There’s never any evidence that we’re meant to take him seriously. What’s worse is—the comics do basically the same thing with the character. Other than a brief fling with a unicorn, there’s not much else to suggest that Deadpool actually makes good on any of his wink-wink comments. And that’s not really representation—that’s telling jokes that can be interpreted multiple ways so you get out of committing to a choice.
It’s a common get-out-of-jail-free card that queer people are accustomed to seeing everywhere in fiction. It’s something I’m personally all too familiar with as a pansexual person. Look, sexuality shouldn’t be all about sex, that’s not what I’m talking about. But if you have a character lightly flirt with everyone for the sake of irreverence, and only ever date/sleep with with one gender… it’s too easy to dismiss.
4. More Ridiculous X-Men Cameos
The timeline has gotten a little weird now, since the primary cinematic X-Men continuity is now back in the ’80s. Even if the next film pushed it forward, the new cast is still quite young… and having the older versions of the cast interact with Deadpool is probably a no-go for more than one reason. (The major one being that they would give away the differences that the Days of Future Past alternate continuity set the stage for.) But there are so many X-Men, and we know that the School For Gifted Youngsters survives no matter what. So there are plenty of mutants out there for Deadpool to bounce off of, and they can show up in any number of weird situations.
My personal dream? Deadpool interrupts a very intense game of park chess. Xavier and Magento look up from the board, Charles rolls his eyes. Sure, Colossus wants Wade to join up, but Professor X knows better. He’d just as soon prevent Wade from sleeping over at his very nice house/school.
5. Genre-Bending Everywhere, All the Time
Comics as a medium are pretty great for genre-bending, but there are certain limitations we’re expected to buy in a superhero universe. Deadpool, on the other hand, had an affair with Death once and spends time with ghosts (of Ben Franklin). The point is, where he’s concerned, the universe has no rules. And that makes him a great character to run alongside the X-Men movie franchise because he can be anything, and fit into any kind of narrative. So you could go a more traditional route, and put him at the forefront of a heist film. Or you could have him time travel. Or you could zap him to another world, and put him at the center of an epic fantasy narrative. A horror film. A cyberpunk thriller. Take your pick—he goes with everything, like the perfect little black dress.
But what about how that plays into the X-Men continuity, you ask? Doesn’t matter. The meta nature of Deadpool’s narrative means that what happens to him never has to apply to any other character in the series. It’s a license to color outside the lines to your heart’s content.
There are lots of other things I would like to see, but those are the big ones. What about you?
Emmet Asher-Perrin would also love a movie where Deadpool’s daughter Ellie was featured. You can bug her on Twitter andTumblr, and read more of her work here and elsewhere.
